&&her pen says the words her mouth can't begin to form.

So most of you know of the shit thing called my life, but some don't. So, I'm gonna tell you.

 

My dad is a drunk. A mean mean mean mean asshatting drunk.

 

The other day my mom and dad got in a huge ass fight. He flipped out on my mom, and spent the night in a hotel. It turned out that he cut the phone lines, so my mom packed myself and her clothes all up and said we were leaving. My brother (who is 18) and I stayed the night at the house last night and my mom stayed at my grandmothers.

When I woke up this morning, I found out my father had shut off my mom's cell phone service, stolen both her and my brother's car, and was still drunk.

He wasn't arrested and my mom, being the insecure codependant woman she is, TOOK HIS STUPID ASS BACK.

 

Shit hasn't changed a bit. He's still an ASS DRUNK.

 

Then, my uncle got in a 4 wheeler accident, and now currently having brain surgery. Wonderfull.

 

*shoot me now.*

So, my dad gets drunk all the time and does stupid things, so last night we got in a huge fight, so he told me to leave. I did. So, yesterday was THE WORST day of my entire life. I wish my dad didn't treat me like he does. It's very upsetting. I wish.. I wish I was enough for him. I hate living in an environment where I'm not sure if I'm going to walk out wishing I was dead. When I'm at school, I'm away from it all and I can relax. That's why I say dumb stuff because I do at school what I can't do at home. Amanda moved away and it hurts when she's not here. I wish I could see her every day because it's hard. She's my BEST FRIEND. <33. So, I'm not sure, but I think my mom is saving up money to leave my dad. I don't know, but when your mom keeps a ziploc bag of money in her trunk, it tends to make a person suspicious. >_< .

OMG! I'M DATING MY EX GIRLFRIEND'S EX GIRLFRIEND! I GAVE HER HEAD LICE AND CLYMIDIA!!!!


Not. That is the LAME rumour my fucking annoying and stupid as fuck ex girlfriend is spreading because she's so fucking pathetic. I hope she fucking reads this too.

GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF. Seriously. Leave me alone. Cos guess what bitch, although you still have some SICK obsession with me, I'M. OVER. YOU..

Fucking whore.

Anywhoo, my BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD is siting here next to me!

<3333333333333333333

Mandeerrrrs!

You rock!

*hazzah symbol*

We're talking and making hawt lesbian porno. Kidding!!

Haha.

<3

--Jo ann

As I scribble my words and think my thoughts, my eyes fill with hot tears, and I know you can see them. Feel them. You look at me and both our eyes widen. Yours filled with guilt, mine with pure sorrow. I know I pretent that everything is okay and that I'm strong enough to handle this, but I am not. I AM NOT. I cannot be. If I had answers to questions or an actual apology, I'd be alright, free from this nagging in the back of my mind. But, I have nothing, and you left me with even less. I am open, but unmoving. Blinded, paralized by the pain and tears you know I feel. I side down in my seat, lower than you make me feel, lower than you percieve me to be for some untold wrong I did. I wonder in te back of my mind if you KNEW FROM THE START that it would be MY heart that would be broken, and still you proceeded for some selfish reason I can't pinpoint. I KNOW I am NOT perfect. I never claimed to be. I had no inkling that I was doing wrong and if I had, I'd have changed it because I loved you enough to do so. The fact of the matter is, with no remorse or thought, you tore me apart. You weren't willing to give me anything, but YOU STOLE EVERYTHING. It hurts so much more than these words can say.

Oh. My. Bob. I LIKE SOMEONE NEW! ALL TRACES OF THE EX GIRLFRIEND LIKEAGE ARE GONE! One problemo. The GUY I like has a girlfriend. =/ It is of the bad. THE CONCERT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!! We kicked asssss! Go team! Anyways..

 

Amanda's birthday party was the shiiit! We got in a frosting fight, danced for four hours, soaked Jorrel with water.. FUN!

 

I've been doing a lot better with the bad thing... Yeah. Cutting. I had a  bad relapse around March, and cut for awhile. But, I've been doing a lot better. Clean for two weeks, thangsyouverymuch.

 

I've been tired, but better. Tireddd. Sleep...

 

Finished reading: The Da Vinci Code

 

In the Middle of Playing: FF9, and KH2.